Hello, friend and energy giver.

I think my family and friends are after the money I have. I have so many negative feelings. I wish I controlled them when they started but now they are uncontrollable.


I want to rule the world. I do not know where do these negative thoughts emerge from. But I live in my past, most of the time.



Things that have hurted me. People who have hurted me. I am always thinking about revenge. 

I want to live in the present. Enjoy every moment. When I visit the psychologist or wrote down in diary, I feel the urge to get better. I see my thinking flaws.

But in normal routine,  that Toxic office, bad Co workers abd my home. I feel trapped inside my head.

Mu negative thoughts and my mundane routine. Why? I should watch healthy.  Cut out junk food.

Focus on real Dopamine. Exercise more.

I hope my new promises to myself can help me become a better person.

P. S. Diary, I feel my friends make fun of me. Is This normal? I should talk to my Psychologist.


I feel they are taking with each other in the ear. I see it and then they start laughing. It is not like I care. But it hurts.

Sometimes I start talking to myself within a task. My hands and lips move and I repeat something that happened in the past. An event in the past is repeated in my head.

And then I say something I should have said in the past to someone who insulted me. I feel satisfied maybe bit in reality the anger increases.



Lots to talk to you, diary and Psychologist thank you for listening and helping 

(This is an excerpt from the diary used in therapy for a neurotic patient. He is much better nowadays. Used with permission. No name mentioned anonymous)